The Excuse Bible

2,003 verses

Chapter 27 of 44

Sounds You Cannot Locate

You can hear it. You cannot find it. You are not leaving the house until one of those two things changes, and neither of them is going to.

20 verses

  1. 1 There's a noise in this building and I have to find it before I can think Concerning
  2. 2 Something has been humming since Sunday and it's got louder Not reassuring
  3. 3 There's a beeping somewhere and it isn't any device I own Please take the day
  4. 4 I can hear water and I can't find water Not reassuring
  5. 5 A pipe is knocking and it knocks at the same time every morning Not reassuring
  6. 6 Somebody is playing something on a loop and I can't tell which direction Please take the day
  7. 7 There's a ringing that stopped when I mentioned it and started again Please take the day
  8. 8 The extractor fan has started up on its own twice Not reassuring
  9. 9 Something upstairs moved from one end to the other over the course of a week Please take the day
  10. 10 I've heard a door close in a house with no other people in it Please take the day
  11. 11 A phone rang in this apartment and it wasn't mine Please take the day
  12. 12 The radio came on downstairs and I don't have a radio downstairs Please take the day
  13. 13 It's gone very quiet outside and it's a busy street Please take the day
  14. 14 Somebody is drilling and it's been eleven hours across two days Unverifiable
  15. 15 The road works have started at six and the earplugs aren't equal to it Plausible
  16. 16 There's an alarm two streets over that nobody is doing anything about Unverifiable
  17. 17 My upstairs neighbor has taken up an instrument Concerning
  18. 18 Something is scratching and it's in the wall rather than on it Not reassuring
  19. 19 I can hear my own heartbeat and I'd like that to stop before I come in Not reassuring
  20. 20 The silence in this house has developed a texture Please take the day

What this chapter gets you out of

Want to hear it argued? ExcuseBot deals from this same corpus one at a time, and plays out the exchange — the question you will be asked, and the answer you give back.

Go to ExcuseBot →