Chapter 12 of 44

The Job Itself

Meetings, files, clients, and the slow collapse of a plan. Excuses aimed at people who do the same job and will recognize a lie about it.

80 verses

1. 1 The requirements moved underneath me halfway through Plausible
2. 2 I'm blocked on something from another team Plausible
3. 3 I finished it and then it wasn't finished Not reassuring
4. 4 I need one more day and I'd rather not say what the day is for Unverifiable
5. 5 The thing it depends on hasn't happened yet Unverifiable
6. 6 I've been waiting on an approval since a week ago Thursday Plausible
7. 7 It's done but it isn't good and I'd rather send it good Plausible
8. 8 I got two thirds of the way and found something Unverifiable
9. 9 Every answer I get raises a new question Unverifiable
10. 10 The person who knows how this works has left Unverifiable
11. 11 There's no documentation and the only copy was in somebody's head Concerning
12. 12 I've been in meetings about it instead of doing it Unverifiable
13. 13 The scope has grown and nobody has said so out loud Unverifiable
14. 14 I've rewritten it twice and the second one was worse Unverifiable
15. 15 I keep starting it and something keeps arriving Unverifiable
16. 16 It works on mine and only on mine Unverifiable
17. 17 I've found a bug that predates me Concerning
18. 18 The data I was given doesn't match the data that exists Concerning
19. 19 Somebody has changed it and there's no record of who Not reassuring
20. 20 I asked a question three days ago and it's still sitting there Plausible
21. 21 The estimate was made before we knew what it was Unverifiable
22. 22 I've been told it's urgent by four people who each mean a different thing Unverifiable
23. 23 I opened it this morning and it looked unfamiliar Not reassuring
24. 24 There's a dependency nobody documented and I've walked into it Concerning
25. 25 My last meeting ran long Plausible
26. 26 I've got a clash and neither side will move Plausible
27. 27 Something's happening in the parking lot and I'm the only one watching Concerning
28. 28 I've done the part of the day I'm good at Unverifiable
29. 29 I need to leave before the traffic decides against me Plausible
30. 30 I have to move the car before the car gets moved for me Plausible
31. 31 There's a delivery window and it's closing Plausible
32. 32 I'm dialling in from somewhere I can't have the camera on Unverifiable
33. 33 My afternoon has been taken by something I didn't agree to Unverifiable
34. 34 I've been double-booked by two people who both outrank me Plausible
35. 35 I said I'd cover for somebody and now that's happening Plausible
36. 36 There's a thing at the school and it's not optional Plausible
37. 37 The internet here has been dropping all morning Plausible
38. 38 My whole afternoon has become one long call about the morning Unverifiable
39. 39 I've been asked to be somewhere and I've stopped asking why Concerning
40. 40 I'm waiting on somebody who said sometime this morning Plausible
41. 41 I've got a delivery I have to sign for personally Plausible
42. 42 The engineer is coming and the window is all day Plausible
43. 43 I can do everything from here except be there Unverifiable
44. 44 The office thing I needed to be in for has been moved Unverifiable
45. 45 I'll be more use at a desk than on a train for two hours Plausible
46. 46 My commute has been cancelled on my behalf Plausible
47. 47 Somebody has to be in for the meter and it's me Plausible
48. 48 The building has sent an email that I've chosen to take seriously Unverifiable
49. 49 I've been given three priorities and told they're all first Unverifiable
50. 50 I've been cc'd onto something that's now mine Unverifiable
51. 51 A thing I closed in March has reopened Concerning
52. 52 Somebody has escalated something and I'm in the escalation Unverifiable
53. 53 I've inherited a project from a person who's still here Concerning
54. 54 There's a spreadsheet that governs this and nobody owns it Concerning
55. 55 I've been added to a channel that seems to be about me Not reassuring
56. 56 A form I filed in March has come back with a question Not reassuring
57. 57 There's a meeting about the meeting and I have to prepare for it Concerning
58. 58 I've been asked for an update on something I've never heard of Concerning
59. 59 The client has changed their mind and hasn't told you yet Concerning
60. 60 I'm on a call with a client that was meant to be fifteen minutes Plausible
61. 61 The client has asked for something that undoes last month Unverifiable
62. 62 There's an issue on their side and we're all waiting for their side Unverifiable
63. 63 The contract says something different from what everybody remembers Concerning
64. 64 Somebody promised them something and it wasn't me Concerning
65. 65 Their system won't accept the format everybody agreed on Unverifiable
66. 66 I've been asked to join a call at short notice with people I don't know Concerning
67. 67 There's a demo and the thing being demoed isn't finished Concerning
68. 68 The invoice has been queried and the query is about the whole invoice Unverifiable
69. 69 We've been asked to a review that nobody has prepared for Unverifiable
70. 70 Their team has reorganized and my contact has gone Unverifiable
71. 71 I've been sent feedback from four people who disagree with each other Unverifiable
72. 72 A supplier has failed to deliver and it's on my list to fix Unverifiable
73. 73 Somebody has gone direct to the client without telling me Concerning
74. 74 The handover document describes a project I don't recognize Not reassuring
75. 75 I've been copied into a chain that started before I joined Concerning
76. 76 There's a signature needed and the signatory is on a plane Unverifiable
77. 77 The scope has changed by accretion and nobody can point to when Concerning
78. 78 I've been asked to estimate something nobody can describe Concerning
79. 79 We've won something and winning it has made this week impossible Unverifiable
80. 80 The kickoff is today and the brief arrived twenty minutes ago Unverifiable