Chapter 38 of 44

Coursework

Classes, deadlines, and academic obligation. Written for professors, TAs, and the group chat you have let down.

81 verses

1. 1 I've been up all night with the thing that's due first Plausible
2. 2 I've been ill all week and I'm three lectures behind Plausible
3. 3 My laptop died mid-way and the library machines are all taken Plausible
4. 4 The reading list has a book the library doesn't have Plausible
5. 5 I've been put in a group and the group has stopped replying Unverifiable
6. 6 The presentation is tomorrow and my part depends on somebody else's part Unverifiable
7. 7 I've got a deadline at midnight and the portal has been down since two Plausible
8. 8 I submitted it and the portal says nothing was submitted Concerning
9. 9 The exam schedule has me in two rooms at once Unverifiable
10. 10 I've been given an extension that expires before the extension I asked for Concerning
11. 11 My grade came back and it's for a paper I didn't write Not reassuring
12. 12 I've been enrolled in a class I never chose Concerning
13. 13 There's a seminar I've been attending for a month that isn't mine Please take the day
14. 14 My student number has stopped matching my name in the system Not reassuring
15. 15 I've been asked to see somebody about something and they wouldn't say what Concerning
16. 16 The library has recalled a book I need for tomorrow Unverifiable
17. 17 I've lost a week of notes and I don't know where they went Concerning
18. 18 My placement has been moved and nobody told the placement Unverifiable
19. 19 The course has changed the assessment weighting after the assessment Concerning
20. 20 I've been reading the wrong text all semester Concerning
21. 21 Somebody has been signing me in to a lecture I don't attend Please take the day
22. 22 There's a hold on my account and nobody will say which office put it there Concerning
23. 23 I've been dropped from the class for non-attendance I can prove I attended Concerning
24. 24 My financial aid has been recalculated and the new number is worse Unverifiable
25. 25 I'm on the waitlist for a class I've been going to since August Concerning
26. 26 The prerequisite I took is no longer the prerequisite Unverifiable
27. 27 My ID card has stopped opening the building it's supposed to open Not reassuring
28. 28 I've been assigned an advisor who is on sabbatical Concerning
29. 29 The bursar says I owe a fee for a service I've never used Concerning
30. 30 I've been given a locker number that belongs to somebody else Unverifiable
31. 31 My transcript has a class on it I have never heard of Please take the day
32. 32 The lecture moved buildings and the email went to a folder I don't check Plausible
33. 33 My section got merged with another section and nobody agrees which one Unverifiable
34. 34 The lab partner I was assigned has not come to a lab yet Unverifiable
35. 35 I've been sitting in the wrong lecture and the material was better Not reassuring
36. 36 The professor records the lecture and the recording has been failing quietly Concerning
37. 37 There's a pop quiz today and I know because somebody told me not to say Concerning
38. 38 The room has been double-booked and the other class got there first Plausible
39. 39 My attendance is being taken by an app that doesn't know where I am Concerning
40. 40 The reading was posted this morning and it's ninety pages Plausible
41. 41 I've got office hours and they're the only office hours this week Plausible
42. 42 The projector has been down all semester and we're taking notes on described slides Concerning
43. 43 Somebody has been answering for me at roll call and I don't know who Please take the day
44. 44 The plagiarism checker has flagged my own paper from last year Concerning
45. 45 My citation manager has changed every citation to a different style overnight Unverifiable
46. 46 The exam is open book and I've been told which book only now Unverifiable
47. 47 I've been scheduled for a final on a day the semester has already ended Not reassuring
48. 48 The proctoring software won't run and support has a four-day backlog Concerning
49. 49 My paper uploaded as a blank document and the timestamp is the only thing that saved Unverifiable
50. 50 I've written the whole thing on the wrong prompt Unverifiable
51. 51 The rubric changed after I'd written to the rubric Unverifiable
52. 52 My midterm grade is posted and it's a letter that isn't a grade Not reassuring
53. 53 The essay question refers to a lecture that was cancelled Concerning
54. 54 I've been accused of collaborating with somebody I've never met Not reassuring
55. 55 The blue book I was given already has writing in it Not reassuring
56. 56 Our group has four people and three of them have the same schedule conflict Unverifiable
57. 57 The shared document has been edited by somebody who isn't in the group Not reassuring
58. 58 My part of the presentation depends on data the data person has not sent Plausible
59. 59 We've been told to peer-review each other and I've been given my own paper Not reassuring
60. 60 The group picked a meeting time in a time zone none of us are in Concerning
61. 61 Somebody added themselves to our group and did the work before we started Please take the day
62. 62 The shuttle has changed its route and the new route doesn't come here Plausible
63. 63 My parking permit works in a lot that is full by eight fifteen Plausible
64. 64 The library printer has taken my money and produced somebody else's thesis Concerning
65. 65 There's a line for the one working elevator and my class is on six Plausible
66. 66 The dining hall is closed for a reason nobody has posted and I have a meal plan Unverifiable
67. 67 Campus has closed a walkway and the detour adds twelve minutes each way Plausible
68. 68 My bike has been impounded for being locked where bikes are locked Unverifiable
69. 69 The building I need is locked and the card reader is dark Unverifiable
70. 70 My roommate's alarm has been going off for an hour and my roommate is not here Concerning
71. 71 The RA is doing an inspection and it has to be somebody present Unverifiable
72. 72 There's a fire drill and we've been standing outside for thirty-five minutes Unverifiable
73. 73 The laundry room has my clothes in a machine that has stopped mid-cycle Unverifiable
74. 74 My roommate has brought home something that is now living in our room Please take the day
75. 75 The hot water has been off since Sunday and I'm not doing that to anybody Unverifiable
76. 76 There's a class in my schedule that meets in a room the building doesn't have Please take the day
77. 77 I've been getting emails from a professor about a class I dropped in September Please take the day
78. 78 My student portal shows a semester I haven't taken yet, completed Please take the day
79. 79 Somebody in my major has the same name as me and we are being confused constantly Not reassuring
80. 80 The course evaluation asks about a professor I've never had Not reassuring
81. 81 There's a building on the campus map I have never found Please take the day