Chapter 19 of 44

Cars, and How They Decline

A car is a thousand parts, any one of which can end your morning. Specificity is everything: a broken car is a lie, a broken alternator is a Tuesday.

23 verses

1. 1 The battery is dead and the jumper cables are in the other car Plausible
2. 2 My car won't start and it started perfectly yesterday Plausible
3. 3 There's a light on the dash I've never seen and the manual is unhelpful Unverifiable
4. 4 The car is making a sound only when I turn left Concerning
5. 5 Something is dragging underneath and I've had to stop and look Unverifiable
6. 6 My parking brake won't release and I've been told not to force it Unverifiable
7. 7 The windshield wipers have stopped and it's raining Plausible
8. 8 I've got a flat and the spare is also flat Unverifiable
9. 9 The wheel nuts won't move and I've stood on the wrench Unverifiable
10. 10 My car has been towed, or moved, or taken Unverifiable
11. 11 There's a ticket on the car for a thing I didn't do Unverifiable
12. 12 The clutch has started biting somewhere new Unverifiable
13. 13 I've overheated on a hill and I'm waiting for it to cool Unverifiable
14. 14 My key fob has stopped working and the key won't turn in the door Unverifiable
15. 15 I've put the wrong fuel in and I've been told very firmly not to start it Unverifiable
16. 16 There's a warning about the tire pressure and no obvious flat tire Unverifiable
17. 17 I've been rear-ended and we're doing the details on the shoulder Plausible
18. 18 Somebody has hit my car in a lot and left nothing Unverifiable
19. 19 The car in front has stopped and the driver has got out and walked off Not reassuring
20. 20 My mirror was folded in overnight and I don't fold it in Please take the day
21. 21 There's a note under my wiper and it isn't a ticket Please take the day
22. 22 The mileage is higher than it was when I parked Please take the day
23. 23 My seat has been moved back and I'm the only driver Please take the day