Chapter 2 of 44

Small Disasters

Nothing here is a catastrophe. That is the point — the excuses people actually believe are the ones too minor to be worth inventing.

26 verses

1. 1 I've had a puncture and I'm on the shoulder waiting Plausible
2. 2 I've run out of gas closer to home than I'd like to admit Plausible
3. 3 My bus pass is in the other coat Plausible
4. 4 The road I use every day is closed and there was no warning Plausible
5. 5 I've been in the wrong line for eleven minutes Plausible
6. 6 My appointment before this one has overrun Plausible
7. 7 The meeting I'm in has gone past the hour and shows no sign Plausible
8. 8 I've been asked to stay for five more minutes four times Unverifiable
9. 9 I got the time wrong by an hour in the wrong direction Plausible
10. 10 I wrote the date down wrong and I've only just seen it Plausible
11. 11 I've been at the wrong building for twenty minutes Plausible
12. 12 The address I was given has two versions and I picked wrong Plausible
13. 13 My phone had no signal where I parked and I couldn't call Plausible
14. 14 I've left something at home that I have to have Plausible
15. 15 I've locked the door and I can't remember doing it Unverifiable
16. 16 I got in the elevator with somebody and we've both gone the wrong way Unverifiable
17. 17 My alarm was set for PM Plausible
18. 18 There's an accident on the route and it's the whole route Plausible
19. 19 I couldn't find parking within a reasonable distance Plausible
20. 20 I've had to stop for gas and the station had a line Plausible
21. 21 My car's been in the shop and the loaner has been late Plausible
22. 22 I've been waiting on somebody who was giving me a ride Plausible
23. 23 My train ticket wouldn't scan and there's a process for that Plausible
24. 24 Somebody stopped me on the way in to ask directions and it took a while Unverifiable
25. 25 I've dropped everything I was carrying at the door Plausible
26. 26 I've been on hold since I left the house Plausible