Chapter 10 of 44

Lapses of Mind

Memory and attention, failing quietly. The most honest chapter in the book, which is why so little of it is believed.

36 verses

1. 1 I've read the same message four times and taken nothing from it Concerning
2. 2 I walked into a room this morning and I'm still working out why Concerning
3. 3 I've forgotten a word I use every day and I'd like it back Not reassuring
4. 4 I put something somewhere safe and safe has turned out to be very safe Not reassuring
5. 5 I've had the feeling I've forgotten something since about six Not reassuring
6. 6 I've been calling somebody the wrong name for eleven months Not reassuring
7. 7 I said I'd do something on Thursday and I don't know which Thursday Not reassuring
8. 8 I've written a note to myself that I can't read Not reassuring
9. 9 Somebody said my name in a corridor and I've been thinking about it since Please take the day
10. 10 I've been going the wrong way to a place I've gone to for years Not reassuring
11. 11 I got in the car and drove somewhere else entirely Not reassuring
12. 12 I've caught myself doing a thing I used to do and stopped doing Please take the day
13. 13 I set out this morning with a plan and the plan has gone Not reassuring
14. 14 I've been meaning to do something since a point I can't identify Not reassuring
15. 15 I've realized what somebody meant last week and I need a minute Please take the day
16. 16 My handwriting has changed and I don't remember changing it Please take the day
17. 17 I've said the same sentence twice this morning to two different people Please take the day
18. 18 I can't remember whether I locked it and I've turned round to check Concerning
19. 19 I've turned round twice and I'm going to turn round once more Concerning
20. 20 I put my phone down and it has entered the category of things I put down Concerning
21. 21 I've been staring at a wall for a period I'd rather not disclose Not reassuring
22. 22 I've reached the end of what I've got today and it's ten past nine Not reassuring
23. 23 I've stopped being able to tell which day the plan was for Not reassuring
24. 24 Somebody was kind to me this morning and it has put me off my stride Please take the day
25. 25 I've used up whatever it is I use to be around people Concerning
26. 26 I've been agreeable since eight and I've got nothing left of it Concerning
27. 27 I've hit the point where I'd only be pretending Not reassuring
28. 28 I need an evening where nobody asks me anything Concerning
29. 29 I've made all the decisions I've got in me today Concerning
30. 30 I'd be there in body and that's not the same as coming Not reassuring
31. 31 I've been looking forward to not going since Tuesday Concerning
32. 32 Something has been sitting with me all week and I'd rather sit with it alone Not reassuring
33. 33 I've said yes to eleven things and this is the one that gives Concerning
34. 34 I'm not going to be good company and I've decided to spare everybody Concerning
35. 35 I've begun rehearsing conversations and that means I should stay in Not reassuring
36. 36 I got as far as putting my coat on and then I took it off Not reassuring