Chapter 16 of 44

Officialdom

Forms, offices, and being processed by something larger than you. Institutions make excellent excuses because everyone has been failed by one.

75 verses

1. 1 I'm on hold. I've been on hold since Thursday Unverifiable
2. 2 I've been given a reference number and told to call back Plausible
3. 3 They've asked me to come in with the original documents Plausible
4. 4 I have to be there in person and they only do mornings Plausible
5. 5 My passport application needs something and they won't say what over the phone Unverifiable
6. 6 There's a letter I have to sign for and only I can take it Plausible
7. 7 The bank has frozen something and I can't do it online Plausible
8. 8 My card's been stopped and everything is attached to that card Plausible
9. 9 My identity's been used somewhere and I'm at the bank unwinding it Unverifiable
10. 10 I've got jury duty and nobody will tell me for how long Plausible
11. 11 I've been called about something and I can't say much Concerning
12. 12 Somebody has to be present for a survey and I'm the somebody Plausible
13. 13 The inspection failed and I can't drive it away Plausible
14. 14 My car insurance has lapsed and I've only just seen the email Plausible
15. 15 I've got a fine to contest and today's the last day Unverifiable
16. 16 The city wants to talk to me about the trash and it's escalated Concerning
17. 17 I'm waiting for a call back and I can't miss it Unverifiable
18. 18 There's a form that needs a witness and I have to find one Unverifiable
19. 19 I have to pick up a prescription and only I can pick it up Plausible
20. 20 The pharmacy has it but it's the wrong dose and we're sorting it Plausible
21. 21 I've got a delivery of something I didn't order and I have to be here for it Concerning
22. 22 Somebody has to be here for the man, and I'm somebody Concerning
23. 23 The real estate agent is doing a showing and I can't be here for it Plausible
24. 24 I've been sent a bill for something I've never had Unverifiable
25. 25 My tax thing is due and the site has been down all morning Plausible
26. 26 I've got a clash with a lab and the lab can't be moved Plausible
27. 27 The reading was three hundred pages and I got to a hundred Plausible
28. 28 My laptop died mid-way and the library ones are all taken Plausible
29. 29 I've been up all night with the assignment that's due first Plausible
30. 30 The tutor moved it and only told half of us Unverifiable
31. 31 I've been ill all week and I'm three lectures behind already Plausible
32. 32 My travel card ran out and there's no top-up until payday Plausible
33. 33 I've got a shift and they've changed it on me again Plausible
34. 34 My session is with somebody who's off and nobody's covering Plausible
35. 35 The gym is closed for maintenance and nobody put a sign up Plausible
36. 36 I've forgotten my kit and I'm not paying for their kit Plausible
37. 37 My membership has expired and the desk is unmanned Unverifiable
38. 38 The pool is closed for something and they won't say what Concerning
39. 39 I've been double-booked with something I said yes to first Concerning
40. 40 I've got somebody staying and I can't leave them in the house Unverifiable
41. 41 Childcare fell through and it fell through loudly Plausible
42. 42 The school called and I have to go and get him Plausible
43. 43 There's a thing at the school that I've already missed twice Plausible
44. 44 My mother has called three times and I have to find out why Plausible
45. 45 I'm taking somebody to an appointment and they can't go alone Plausible
46. 46 There's a funeral and it's the kind you have to be at Plausible
47. 47 A relative has arrived unannounced and is now in my kitchen Unverifiable
48. 48 I've got somebody's dog and somebody's key and no clear end date Unverifiable
49. 49 My sister needs something and I've run out of ways to say no Unverifiable
50. 50 I'm the only one who can go and everybody has agreed on that Concerning
51. 51 Somebody has volunteered me for something Concerning
52. 52 I've been sent a letter with a date on it and the date is today Unverifiable
53. 53 There's a hearing and I've been asked to be available Concerning
54. 54 I'm being asked to give a statement about something Concerning
55. 55 I've had a summons and I don't yet know for what Concerning
56. 56 Something I signed years ago has become relevant Not reassuring
57. 57 I've been contacted about a matter and the word matter is doing a lot Not reassuring
58. 58 There's a case number and my name is attached to it Not reassuring
59. 59 I've been asked to bring identification to a place I've never been Not reassuring
60. 60 The letter says do not reply and gives a deadline Not reassuring
61. 61 I've been assigned somebody and I don't know what for Please take the day
62. 62 A department has written to say they'll be in touch Not reassuring
63. 63 I've filled in the wrong form and the right form needs the wrong one attached Concerning
64. 64 Somebody has to countersign and I've run out of people who can Concerning
65. 65 I've been asked to prove I live where I live Unverifiable
66. 66 My application has been returned for a reason that isn't stated Concerning
67. 67 I've got an appeal deadline and the appeal has to be handwritten Concerning
68. 68 There's an inspection and I've been told to be present but not involved Not reassuring
69. 69 I've been given a window of nine to five and it's the whole day Plausible
70. 70 They've asked for something I sent them in March Unverifiable
71. 71 I'm on hold with a department that closes in twenty minutes Plausible
72. 72 The office I need is only open on days I work Unverifiable
73. 73 I've been told my case is with somebody who is no longer there Concerning
74. 74 A decision has been made and I haven't been told what it is Not reassuring
75. 75 I've been sent somebody else's paperwork with my name on the envelope Not reassuring