Band 1 of 5

Plausible

Nothing anyone would think twice about. These are the excuses that work, and they work because there is no joke in them at all — only a small, dull, entirely possible inconvenience.

317 verses across 30 chapters

1. 1 Somebody has parked across my driveway and gone
2. 2 I've forgotten my kit and I'm not paying for their kit
3. 3 The building shut the water off without telling anybody
4. 4 I've been ill all week and I'm three lectures behind already
5. 5 The gym is closed for maintenance and nobody put a sign up
6. 6 The appointment ran over and then it ran over again
7. 7 The vet can only see us at eleven
8. 8 I have to pick up a prescription and only I can pick it up
9. 9 Childcare fell through and it fell through loudly
10. 10 My card's been stopped and everything is attached to that card
11. 11 My freezer has failed and I'm dealing with everything that was in it
12. 12 I've got jury duty and nobody will tell me for how long
13. 13 The pharmacy has it but it's the wrong dose and we're sorting it
14. 14 My mother has called three times and I have to find out why
15. 15 My travel card ran out and there's no top-up until payday
16. 16 I've got a shift and they've changed it on me again
17. 17 The elevator is out and I'm on the eleventh floor with a bad knee
18. 18 There's a leak from the apartment above and I'm catching it