Band 1 of 5

Plausible

Nothing anyone would think twice about. These are the excuses that work, and they work because there is no joke in them at all — only a small, dull, entirely possible inconvenience.

326 verses across 30 chapters

1. 1 I'm on a call with a client that was meant to be fifteen minutes
2. 2 I've got an early flight and it's the kind you can't miss
3. 3 My laptop is installing something and won't say how long
4. 4 The class is full and the waitlist is eleven people
5. 5 I've been locked out of my own account since eight
6. 6 The place has two entrances and everybody is at the other one
7. 7 There's a marathon and the whole area is closed
8. 8 I've been behind a garbage truck for the whole route
9. 9 I've been ill all week and I'm three lectures behind
10. 10 I've spilled coffee down the one shirt that was ready
11. 11 I have to be at a thing at two and there's no version where I'm also here
12. 12 Somebody was sick on the way in and we've had to turn round
13. 13 The offsite has overrun and there's no way back before evening
14. 14 There's ice on everything and I've watched two people go over
15. 15 It's fog and I can see about a car length ahead
16. 16 Somebody has broken down on the ramp and there's one lane
17. 17 The sitter cancelled an hour ago and I've run out of numbers
18. 18 I'm fighting something off and I'd rather not hand it to anybody