The Excuse Bible

2,003 verses

Band 4 of 5

Not Reassuring

Past the point of a normal morning. Offered flatly, for something trivial, and never explained — the moment the speaker admits it is strange, it stops working.

286 verses across 39 chapters

A reading

  1. 1 I've been asked for a status update and the update is that I've been writing updates
  2. 2 The house filled with a smell at two and emptied of people by ten past
  3. 3 I've gone too far indoors to come back out
  4. 4 There was a noise at four and the household responded to it
  5. 5 A form I filed in March has come back with a question
  6. 6 A bed came down in the night and we're still establishing whose
  7. 7 The spreadsheet is returning results I can't reproduce
  8. 8 I've been added to a channel that seems to be about me
  9. 9 I promised the calendar I'd stop doing this
  10. 10 There's a rota now and I'm on it twice
  11. 11 Half the street left this morning because of a rumor
  12. 12 I've been drawn into a dispute about a hedge
  13. 13 The printer has produced a page I didn't send it
  14. 14 My bed frame has developed a sound and I need to isolate it
  15. 15 The last visit is still settling and I need it to finish settling
  16. 16 A door slammed and three people came downstairs armed
  17. 17 Something is living under the hood and I don't want to start it
  18. 18 A snake was in the shed and now it's not in the shed

Where the rest of them are

Every excuse here is stamped. ExcuseBot uses the same five bands, and its Weirder button walks you up them one step at a time until you find the edge of what you can say out loud.

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