The Excuse Bible

2,063 verses

Band 4 of 5

Not Reassuring

Past the point of a normal morning. Offered flatly, for something trivial, and never explained — the moment the speaker admits it is strange, it stops working.

296 verses across 39 chapters

A reading

  1. 1 I've been scheduled for a final on a day the semester has already ended
  2. 2 I've been asked to explain the delay and the explaining is now the delay
  3. 3 My ID card has stopped opening the building it's supposed to open
  4. 4 I have to go while I still want to have come
  5. 5 The export produces something slightly different every time
  6. 6 We've been told to peer-review each other and I've been given my own paper
  7. 7 I have to be somewhere and the somewhere keeps moving
  8. 8 Somebody has told them I'm coming and it wasn't me
  9. 9 My name has been put on a card I haven't seen
  10. 10 My unread count went somewhere I couldn't follow
  11. 11 The shared document has been edited by somebody who isn't in the group
  12. 12 I opened it this morning and it looked unfamiliar
  13. 13 I archived the thread and the thread archived me
  14. 14 Somebody has changed it and there's no record of who
  15. 15 I finished it and then it wasn't finished
  16. 16 I've been drafting a reply and the draft has grown
  17. 17 There's a seating plan and I've been placed centrally
  18. 18 I've reached the stage where I'm agreeing with everybody

Where the rest of them are

Every excuse here is stamped. ExcuseBot uses the same five bands, and its Weirder button walks you up them one step at a time until you find the edge of what you can say out loud.

Go to ExcuseBot →