The Excuse Bible

2,003 verses

Band 2 of 5

Unverifiable

Ordinary enough to accept, private enough that no one can confirm them. The largest band in the book, and the one to reach for first.

666 verses across 39 chapters

A reading

  1. 1 I've got a whole afternoon of admin I've been putting off since spring
  2. 2 The chimney people are here and they've asked me to stay out of the room
  3. 3 Somebody at the desk has taken my name and asked me to wait
  4. 4 I've been pulled into something that's now taking the day
  5. 5 I've got sound but no microphone and I've tried the obvious things
  6. 6 I've put a hole in the last pair of anything I have
  7. 7 I stood up too fast and I've had to sit back down
  8. 8 There's a private event on and nobody put a sign at the door
  9. 9 I've eaten something that has begun to make itself known
  10. 10 We've won something and winning it has made this week impossible
  11. 11 The bank branch is appointment only and the appointments are next week
  12. 12 There's an issue on their side and we're all waiting for their side
  13. 13 The car seat has to go into another car and it's a whole operation
  14. 14 My toast set the alarm off and the alarm woke the house
  15. 15 I've got a visa thing that has to be done in person and only on weekdays
  16. 16 I couldn't find the thing I need every single day
  17. 17 I put something in the oven before I understood how long it needed
  18. 18 Somebody has taken the chair from my desk

Where the rest of them are

Every excuse here is stamped. ExcuseBot uses the same five bands, and its Weirder button walks you up them one step at a time until you find the edge of what you can say out loud.

Go to ExcuseBot →